Since the tragedy last week in Connecticut it has been difficult for me to write and express my feelings. Being a mom to 5 children I can’t begin to imagine the pain and emptiness that many of the parents from Sandy Hook are experiencing. The words that keep coming to mind are ~ Stay Strong!
Often during times of loss many questions arise: Why? Why the children? Why now? Could it have been avoided? Where was God? The last question is one that is often asked and mainly by the unfaithful. The truly faithful understand that evil exists and it must exist in order for good to exist. Without evil, no one would ever understand the meaning of goodness. However, during a tragic loss clear thinking goes out the window and many questions go unanswered. Stay Strong…
Is it easy to stay strong? Absolutely not!
However, it is essential to continue moving forward, to continue sleeping and waking, to continue living. It is truly tragic that so many lives were taken and we may never truly know the reason or if the reason will ever mend the broken hearts. However, it is essential to go through the different stages of grief in order to stay strong and continue living. At the moment many are in the first stage of shock and denial. Soon after pain and guilt will surface and many will stay in this stage for a long period and honestly not sure if the pain will ever subside. The next stages of anger, and depression will follow and then the final stages of upward turn, working through and acceptance will surface. These stages do not occur right away, in fact they may take many months to years and for some the final stages are the most difficult.
In order to reach the final stages of grief you must remain strong. You were given the inner strength that can withstand anything. But in order to tap into that strength you must first believe. Yes, when you believe that you can move forward, the strength will come to the surface. One thing to keep in mind is that you can not accomplish this alone. The strength that lies within you will flourish when you accept help from loved ones around you. They may not have the ‘right’ words to help you heal but their presence is all that is needed to help you stay strong.
Again, I can’t possibly imagine the grief that comes from losing a child but having experienced the loss of loved ones I know first hand how difficult it will be. It will not be easy to accept. It will not be easy to wake up each morning knowing that your child will never be running to the breakfast table or asking the many questions. It will not be easy to accept that your child will never graduate, experience their first date, prom date, and marriage. But instead of focusing on what will never happen, try to focus on the times you did have with your precious child or loved one. The times they looked into your eyes and said they loved you. The times you tucked them in bed and the precious memories that no one can ever take away.
Stay strong.
Be thankful for the moments and stay strong…thinking of you all….
